It's the holidays and I made a pact with myself that I wasn't going to focus on the sad like I usually do. I normally can cry at the drop of a hat at Christmas time because I would focus on the kids that are hungry, wearing old grown out of clothes and abused and neglected. I think because my kids have been so blessed with "things" and at Christmas its magnified, it forces me even more so to think of others that aren't as lucky. SO THIS YEAR, I'm not focusing on the problems, Im focusing on what I can do. Even though it may be small in comparison to the sadness, it still can make a difference. The ripple effect will take over and who knows where it will go. If we all did even 1 kind gesture this season, the results would be endless. This year I'm going to focus on all the GOOD that people do for others in the world. There really is a lot of it. And like I always say and know to be true: "What we focus on, we get more of". I am becoming aware of all the different groups that are doing wonderful things around Billings, it's awesome and the more I know of, theres even more I hear about :). We live in a great city. We are blessed.
I read somewhere that during the Holidays, people have/create the most problems in their relationships. I think there is a lot of stress and frustration that the season brings. There is so much emphasis on the retail side of things and keeping up with the Jones's that we can be stretched way beyond our means causing friction in our relationships. I had a very wise woman once tell me that it's pretty amazing that ANY of us have good relationships with all the hurt, anger, and fear that we all carry around. We've all been wounded and have baggage that affects our current relationships no matter how long ago the hurt happened. Most times we don't even realize that we are punishing the ones that love us because of damage done by others from our past. Once we stop being the victim, choose to let go, forgive ourselves and those that have hurt us, really love who we are, I know we can heal. What a long process this has been for me as I keep plugging along. Very rewarding though. I've been practicing over a period of time to try to always respond with love even when someone is unloving, rude, hurtful, or just hard to be around. I'm certainly not perfect at it and sometimes I really suck, but I'm not giving up! One thing that REALLY helps me is to know and remind myself that whoever I come in contact with is really 2 spirits. A soul, and an ego. I believe we all have both of these inside of us. I believe our soul is pure, full of forgiveness and grace, kind, compassionate and all that is love. It is the part of us that is GOD breathed. We also have the ego that is very damaged, and hurt, and full of the lies we've been told about ourselves that we believe. It is fear, anger, sadness. The ego develops over time and is constantly fed by ourselves as well as other hurt egos. When I meet someone that is angry or hurtful, I remember that there is a soul inside of that person that is being clouded over by the ego. This person is deeply hurting. It helps me to have compassion and forgiveness remembering they are acting with their ego. I think of what must have happened in their life to make them so sad and act out. They are just hurting too.
“To love is to recognize yourself in another.” ― Eckhart Tolle
This whole concept helps me with myself as well. When I feel the ugliness starting to brew inside of me, I try to acknowledge it so I can try to separate from my ego. Take a deep breath, relax, lean back and let it pass right on by. It works! Let it pass right on by. Focus on my center, and let it fill with compassion for myself. The more I do this, the more my ego will dissolve and I can respond instead of react. It's so fun when I actually do it and find, once again, that it works :). And then I smile and forgive myself for how ugly I was just a few seconds earlier. I'm not always so good at this, but I am getting better at recognizing it and that's the biggest step.
“The highest form of human intelligence is to observe yourself without judgement.” ― Jiddu Krishnamurti
It helped me so much to learn that what happens to me, doesn't define me. My past doesn't define me. I can begin TODAY and define who I want to be.
“The past has no power over the present moment. Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now; and if the past cannot prevent you from being present now, what power does it have?" - Eckhart Tolle
Do I sound crazy yet??!! If not, let me see what else I can share ......... ;-). Hmmmmm, I think I'll keep this post short. My ADD is on rapidfire today but I just want to say one last thing. Remember that we are all one. Remember that WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!
Ok...Gotta go start some ripples - join me? <3
Happy Holidays to all you beautiful souls, even to all you ugly ego's. :-)
GOD BLESS
